Sunday, 25 September 2016

Dear Jane...

If you don't know who Jane is, see previous blog posts...
To fill you all in, Jane left on Friday. She's gone off on a new adventure. This is a little letter I've written her. Whether I'll tell her about it... hmmmm... we'll see. Maybe I will. Heyyyy if you're there.

Dear Jane,

Where to start? I guess the logical place is the beginning. March 2015 was when we first properly met for our first chat with you as my mentor. I can remember myself now being this quiet little teenager who occasionally nodded and maybe managed to just about say the odd sentence as 'we' spoke for about 20 minutes a week.
As my mentor, you saw me once a week, normally during chemistry or german which was obviously a COMPLETE coincidence, but me being me, trusting you with any one of my hidden little secrets was going to be a hefty task and would require a lot more than me just sitting down and the words falling from my tongue. This, I think, is something you probably worked out rather quickly and you soon ditched the whole "mentor to student" plan and just chatted to me, spoke to me about everyday life and asked questions do you could get to know me better.
You were the first person I've ever met that I could relate to, from our hatred of food shopping to the way we were brought up, I never met someone like you before. From the point of our mentor sessions becoming more of a relaxed chat, I felt like maybe this could work. And it did.

From that point onwards, you pushed me (figuratively, obvs ;)), you hugged me, you made me laugh, and if on the odd occasion I cried, you gave me your shoulder. You gave me faith in humanity and myself, something which I don't think I'd ever had before, but you showed me it was possible.
When things were tough you'd come out with a sly comment or lame joke that, to any ordinary person, would be the least funny thing in the world, yet would cause the pair of us to be in stitches. You would have a go at me for not eating chocolate and I would watch you try to argue your case that baps are in fact tits and not bread rolls, which you still haven't won...

September 2015 you picked me up (again, figuratively) from rock bottom. You held my hand and guided me through some dark days/weeks. You saved my life. If it wasn't for you being there during that time, I honestly think I would have ended it. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you. You promised me you'd be there no matter what, and you stuck to it, even if I just couldn't say anything, you still gave me the tightest hug ever and told me everything was going to be alright. You were the first person in the world to ever say you were proud of me, to ever say you cared about me, and for once in my life, I felt wanted. It was at this point, I began to trust you.

I guess a massive lesson you've taught me, is about friendship. I'm not going to mention her by name, but she's a certain lady with a certain shade of pink hair. You see, I come from a place where to have that one best friend is almost unheard of. I was always taught that having a best friend is completely pointless and just caused an unnecessary amount of hassle and stress. However, you two have shown me that friendship is one of, if not the most important relationship you can ever have. Best friends don't just get you through shit, they brush off all the bits that got stuck to you. They're there for you no matter what and most importantly, they make you smile. I've never seen a pair more made for each other than you two. You're just soul mates.

GCSEs were a hella stressful time and I honestly didn't think I'd even pass one. Every time I saw you both prior the exams and during them, you told me I could do it. You believed in me more than any one else and I honestly think you're one of the main reasons I passed any of them. Without you, I doubt I would have even sat half of them, yet here I am now, with 10 GCSEs and well into my A Levels.

You've taught me so many things in the short 18 months I've known you, but honesty is probably one of the most important, so here goes...
You've changed my life. You've shaped me into the person I am today. You've become a role model. I would be lying if I said I'm not upset. Of course I bloody am! But I am also sooooo fecking happy for you. You're going home. I'll miss your fabulous smile, your evil cackle and your warm hugs, and I'll probably cry for the next year or so, but I know you're going to be happy. I know where you're going is where you belong. You leaving is not the end of a book, but the end of a chapter. One turn of a page is all it takes to start a new one, so go ahead. Let's try and embrace change even if it does make us both feel physically sick.
Right, I've cried far too much writing this. Compose yourself woman.

Good luck tomorrow, you'll ace it,

And one more thing, I trust you. I actually do.

Be xxx

1 comment:

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