So January started with my GCSE mocks, my last practice exams before the real thing. I'd just spent the entirety of the Christmas break revising and being sick because of how stressed out I was. It's safe to say they were actually horrendous. They were really closely packed together which didn't help me at all. The only comfort I got from them was the fact that the real exams wouldn't be so close together and so would give me time to actually breathe, with half term in the middle for even more space. I hated mocks. There is nothing else to it. I used to go home with the motivation to revise and succeed. And that's what I would do, but I would be up until the early hours of the morning, like 4AM. It was ridiculous and nothing ever went in.
Because of being so ill in April//May, I lost a lot of my memory from February to then, but the one thing that has made an unfortunate reappearance is my mock results. They were actually crap. Bearing in mind that I was targeted at A's and B's, I mostly got D's. Do you know how gutting and demotivating that is. It properly drags you through the mud, especially when all your friends get A*'s and A's and all the teachers are congratulating them around you and giving you the sympathetic 'you tried' look. The worst part about that day for me, was the fact that all of this was before 9:15 and we all had a full day of lessons, whilst all I wanted to do was go home.
Now, as I mentioned before, when I was ill, I lost my memory, so until May, I have little memory. In this time I revised my actual arse off. I worked so hard and it all went. It was the most frustrating thing ever, as in these months, not only was I revising, but we were also learning new things in every single subject. I was in hospital for a week and then unable to move for another. I had to teach myself how to walk again, all while trying to revise as well. After pushing myself to the absolute max, I got back to school about a week before I had exams and thankfully had great support from my friends and teachers who helped me hobble around school and catch up with the huge amounts of work that I had forgotten or missed. Exams came and went and yeah, I'll admit, I was crying most mornings, and if I wasn't crying I would be mute. I wouldn't say a thing. But I did them! I actually did them. I remember walking in to Student Support after my last exam (Physics Unit 2&3) and Jane was there giving me a MASSIVE hug. That time last year, the thought of even doing half of my 23 exams wasn't even in my head, yet I did them. I did them all.
Then came June. The time when Britain decided to leave the EU. What. I woke up to my friend having a rant on our group chat and I knew. I felt physically sick. My main issue was that the people that voted leave were dominantly 60+. They aren't going to be here in 20/30 years time when the real impact of Brexit will be apparent. The Prime Minister who said he would stand by the country no matter what. The UKIP leader who promised that the £350 million saved would go to NHS and then as soon as Brexit was confirmed, resigned. Politicians are just rich liars, lets face it.
I had my prom in June and it was honestly one of the best times ever. Everyone got along and we all had a dance together, even circulating the building doing conga, almost 200 of us. I spent the time with my best ever friends and everyone was so happy, even the teachers!
|A few photos from prom|
I went to Greece in July and that was the most beautiful holiday ever. The sun was hot and the sea was warm. It was great. The only issue was that it was full board, whereas we normally go half. I prefer half, I don't feel as fat. Creds to Mark Warner for the fabulous time we had. It acted as a distraction from the upcoming results day, a day that I was dreading passionately. As a ginger, I can't be in the sun for too long, but I struggles to come away from it. I was in the sea a lot too, snorkelling and scuba diving, or just generally swimming. It was so much fun. It just made me genuinely smile.
|Me and my brother|
I took part in the colour run in August, raising money for the NSPCC. My friend did it with me which made it a lot more fun. I would highly recommend taking part in something like this, everyone is there because they want to be there, all excited and hyped up. There's something about being in such an atmosphere that fills you with happiness. We ended up raising over £150 and it felt good. If you don't know what the Colour Run is, it's basically where you do a 5K fun run and at every km markget powdered paint thrown all over you, and then at the final point, there is a massive festival-type party.
Results day was weird. I wasn't intentionally crying but I had tears rolling down my face because I was so nervous. But it went okay. I got the grades I needed for sixth form and that's what's most important. I spent the rest of the day with my best friends and it was grand.
In September Jane left and we all know what that did to me, but I'm pleased to say we remain friends and I've adjusted. I don't go to the Student Support house anymore though, I don't feel like I should. None of them are responsible for me so I'd rather leave it like that I think, they've all got their busy jobs and responsibilities. I have support and that's important.
Then Donald Trump was voted the next US President. What an actual joke. Now I'm not an American citizen, but that doesn't mean that it means nothing to me. Like Brexit, I had to wake up to my girls having an actual melt down on our group chat. Hilary Clinton isn't exactly an angel, fairs, but compared to Donald Trump, that woman is an angel. We all thought that the world had changed and become a much more equal place, but this year has proved us incorrect, and that is one of the most disappointing things.
This year, we've lost so many people, so many inspirations of mine. From David Bowie to Debbie Reynolds and Carrie Fisher, with people like Christina Grimmie, Kenny Baker and George Michael. There are too many to list, all beautiful people.
Today is the last day of a year filled with emotion and confusion, ups and downs.
2017 better be a whole lot better.